I got this giant hatred for private detectives. It's a cop disease.
You guys sweep in here like big turtle-necked vultures.
You stomp around in my garden, then you split.
Look, hotshot, I've been having a terrible day.
I got two loose teeth that have been killing me.
I'll subpoena you for the trial.
You haven't lived till you've tried to serve me with a subpoena.
You got a soft spot I could hit blindfolded.
Your ethics are lousy.
What kind of ethics must a private detective have?
You can't be that stupid.
Sure, I can. I've been doing stupid things all day.
[Telephone ringing]
(Rockford on answering machine) This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
[Beeps] I'll get back to you.
(man) You really want Shim on the seventh?
Come on, that nag couldn't go a mile in the back of a pickup truck. Call me.
(announcer) Announcing the departure of TransGlobal Aloha...
Flight 402...
to Honolulu, Tokyo, and Hong Kong. Now departing at Gate 32A.
Maintenance porter to TransGlobal service counter, please.
Arriving passengers from Newark...
please report to TransGlobal's passenger service counter.
Mr. Jameson, please. This is Jim Rockford.
Yes, sir. I'm back.
It's hard to say. I really don't know.
(Rockford) Something happened back there...
a little weird, but I'll fill you in.
No, sir. I'd really like to go take a shower...
and get changed. I'll drive up to your place sometime this evening.
Yes, sir, fine. Thank you.
(woman on PA system) TransGlobal Skycap to baggage area.
[People chattering]
[Tires screeching]
[Car engine starting]
[Explodes]
[Door slamming]
(woman) Motor vehicles, may I help you?
Registration, please.
One moment, sir, I'll connect you.
[Phone ringing]
Registration, may I help you? Miss Brown speaking.
I sure hope so, honey. My friend Eddie said maybe you could help.
But if you can't, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Unless I see it again, which I probably won't. I mean there must be...
eight million gray Chevys in the city of Los Angeles.
Maybe you could start at the beginning, sir.
I'm awful sorry, but I'm real excited.
You see, I've been saving up for two years...
to buy this one certain kind of car.
And I was driving down Melrose Blvd., and I seen it.
It was just beautiful.
It's a '67 gray Chevy coupe.
It's got a custom vinyl top, mag wheels. Just the whole thing.
Just the way I wanted it.
Anyway, this guy had a "for sale" sign in the back window...
and it had a telephone number on it.
I tried to catch up with him, but I missed the light. I almost got a ticket.
And Eddie, my friend, he was with me in the car.
He got the license number, and he told me...
maybe you could tell me who owned it.
Well, I'm not sure. We're not supposed to do that.
I see.
You see, Eddie, I told you she can't do that.
That's against the rules or something.
Look, maybe I could...
sneak a peek. What was the license number on that?
Wait a minute.
It's 2-3-8...
W-X-C.
Like in Charlie. One moment.
[Whirring]
That's registered to a Martin Fishback...
237 Wilson Dr., Los Angeles.
237. Honey, thank you. I really appreciate that.
Maybe I could return the favor sometime. Thank you.
[Waves breaking]
[Seagulls cawing]
Would I be too nosy to ask what you guys want?
Shut up and get in.
[Car engine starting]
I suppose you're the guys who went through my place.
I thought I told you to shut up.
Tell me what you want. I'll probably give it to you.
I want you to shut up, Rockford.
Understand? Shut up.
Right. You want it, you got it.
(Rockford) All right, what do I do now?
You can take those off, Rockford.
I don't know what's going on...
but believe me, I don't want any trouble.
You already got trouble.
The only question is whether you're gonna wake up tomorrow breathing air or dirt.
Come on. There's no need to be melodramatic.
We've been watching you, Rockford, and we don't like what you're up to.
So far, I'm not too hot about it, either.
Who are you working for?
Now wait a minute.
We don't have much time. Who is your client?
That's a little tough.
(Beck) Who are you working for?
Let me finish my sentence this time, all right?
I'd like to tell you. I really would.
But it's professional ethics, sort of...
not to reveal who your client is.
Now if it's all right with you guys, I'd like to call my client...
from a pay phone and ask him if it's all right if I give you his name.
If he says it's okay, I give it to you.
Just one call, that's all. But I really should check first.
How about it?
You lose.
Wait a minute. Where are you going?
Is it worth it, Mr. Rockford? Is it really that important to you?
Think about it. I'd be interested to know.
Think about what? I don't even know what you guys are all about.
What's going on?
I thought you understood.
We're making the arrangements. It'll be about five minutes.
You see, Mr. Rockford, you're dead.
(Beck) Is it worth it, Mr. Rockford?
Is it really that important to you?
Think about it. I'd be interested to know.
[People chattering]
[Man and woman laughing]
I am ready for a drink.
I want another drink.
♪♪[music playing]
Boy, it's really something, isn't it? Yeah, it sure is.
There he is.
That good-Iooking one in the blazer.
(Rockford) So that's Mark?
Come on, I'll introduce you.
Now don't say too much.
Be reserved and offhand.
You mean, I can't slap him on the back and call him buddy?
Hardly.
Kathy! Loren. How are you?
Loren Tarr, Jim Rockford. Hi, Jim.
I haven't seen you around here before.
I haven't been here before.
Jim's an old friend of mine.
No kidding? That's great. What do you do, Jim?
He's a corporate insurance profile analyst.
But my brother sells used cars in Montana.
Yeah.
Say, Kathy, how about some backgammon? Sue and Sybil have a table.
We want a chance to get some of our money back.
Now come on, you took us pretty good last time.
Go ahead, honey. I'll just browse around.
Maybe get something to eat, spill something on my shirt.
Jim's such a kidder.
Go ahead, have fun. Nice to meet you, Loren.
[People applauding]
Scotch on the rocks, please.
Are you really a private detective?
You must be mistaken. I'm a corporate profile analyst.
What the devil is that?
I rummage around little companies.
Dredge up tax loopholes, that sort of thing.
He said you're a private detective.
Him? Yeah, him.
I bet you don't even know what a corporate profile analyst does.
Sure I do, sort of.
It's true. You are a detective.
I think that's marvelous. You do?
Sure. You're the first private detective I ever met.
Let's just keep it between ourselves.
A thing like that gets out in a place like this...
I start growing bouncers from both arms.
It's a deal. I'm Susan Jameson.
Jim Rockford.
[Fires]
[Gun cocking]
If you worked in one of my companies...
and kept me waiting the way you did this afternoon...
I'd warn you once. If it happened again, I'd fire you.
That's one of the advantages of my job, Mr. Jameson.
I don't have to put up with remarks like that.
Pity we aren't the same age.
I could take you out behind the woodshed...
and we could bash it around for a while.
I don't go in for that kind of thing.
Did you see Mark?
Yeah. And?
I think he spends too much time under the sun lamp.
I could have told you that without paying you $200 a day.
He's also had his nose fixed.
Your daughter was out there.
What do you expect? She's engaged to the man.
You're still pulling to the right.
You're gonna have to anchor that set screw.
You know, we do seem to grate on each other a bit, don't we?
I don't think that would happen...
if I carried a briefcase and wore a tie.
I think the problem is that you just don't have anything...
that I want bad enough to go to all that trouble.
What else did you find out?
I ran a check on him through some of my own sources...
and I didn't come up with any more than you did.
He's so clean he squeaks.
No police record. Good credit references.
Honorable discharge from the Navy.
Two special merit citations for action off the waters in North Korea.
He put out a fire in a gun battery and saved two guys.
Mark Chalmers is a real gold-plate special.
Everything about the guy is phony.
I've played handball with him.
That Ivy League accent of his is a phony, too.
Get him down a couple of points and a New Jersey accent pops out.
Real gutter Jersey.
He's a sharpshooter of some kind, and we're gonna end up proving it.
I want to talk to you about that, too.
I think I'll drop out. I just don't like this sort of thing.
What sort of thing?
Helping frustrated old men break up their daughters' romances.
It just makes me feel like I'm taking anything that comes along.
I'll send you a bill.
You're through when I say you're through.
Would you mind putting that thing away? I'm afraid of guns.
I've booked you on a flight to Newark.
The plane leaves at 4:00 this afternoon.
Maybe you didn't hear what I said.
You'll do what I say...
or I'll make a few calls to the local power structure.
They're friends of mine. In 10 minutes...
you'll have civil servants dropping out of trees on you.
That trailer of yours...
doesn't look like R1 zoning to me. Maybe get it moved.
Have your income tax return bounced.
Maybe have the cops...
review that investigator's license of yours.
I shoot a mean game of dirty pool.
Think about it.
You really shouldn't threaten me.
You got a soft spot I could hit blindfolded.
What are you talking about?
All I have to do is call your daughter...
and tell her you're having Mark investigated.
Your ethics are lousy.
Yeah, I know.
Why don't we just break and go to neutral corners?
I'll send you a bill. You pay me my fee...
and we'll stay out of each other's way. All right?
Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
This isn't going to be easy for me.
I'm not used to saying please...
but I am going to say please.
Please, Mr. Rockford.
I know...
I probably do seem like a frustrated old man to you. Maybe I am.
But my only child...
is about to marry that phony. Don't you see what it's doing to me?
You can't let me down now. I need your help, Rockford.
And you want me because we get along so good. Is that it?
You won't take anything from me.
You probably won't take anything from anybody else.
I think you know what you're doing.
Why do you want me to go to Newark?
Because Mark...
Here are some photographs of him, by the way.
He once mentioned a certain street in Newark.
It's a street that people who don't live in Newark always mispronounce.
They call it "Tal-ma-dige," the way it's spelled.
Mark pronounced it correctly...
and when I asked him if he'd ever lived there, he got very uptight.
And he said no. I think he's lying.
What do you say?
Coach?
Rockford? (Rockford) Right, Jim Rockford.
Jim, I'm going to give it to you straight...
because I don't want we should have no problems about this later on.
You see, my trouble is...
I got this giant hatred for private detectives. Now you've probably heard of it.
It's a cop disease.
You guys sweep in here like big turtle-necked vultures.
You stomp around in my garden, and then you split.
Leaving me stuck with a mess.
So here you go, sport. Now you want my advice...
you pick up your goodies, and you hop a freight out of town.
I'm just trying to get along, Lieutenant.
I'm checking in like I'm supposed to. If I turn up anything, I'll give it to you.
I'd just like a little help, that's all.
I don't want to get along, Rockford.
I don't want to help you. I don't want to hear nothing about you.
I only have one interest in you, and that's in getting you out of this town.
Did you check with L. A? Yeah.
The cops there said you were a flake.
Yeah, well, I...
Goodbye, Jim.
You get to the airport by taking Valley Street
and turning right at Airport Drive.
Take Valley Street, and right at Airport Drive. Yeah, I got it.
Lieutenant, if you ever get to L. A...
why don't look me up? We could probably have some fun.
Maybe roll a few drunks, or something.
Officer Radcliff.
(Radcliff) Yes, Lt. Pierson.
There's a private detective by the name of Jim Rockford in town.
I don't want anyone identifying the photo...
he has of a man named Mark Chalmers.
Yes, sir. I'll see to it.
And another thing, make sure no one gives him access to any file.
Yes, sir.
I don't want any slip-ups. You understand?
I got you, sir.
♪♪[music playing]
I asked around, pal. Nobody seems to know him.
Keep it. My phone number's on the back.
You said you was at the Holly Motel? Yeah.
There's some guys in back who might know him. They know everybody else.
But I can't get in there for a while.
What? Do you got a card game going back there?
What are the stakes?
You couldn't cut it. Costs $50 to buy a hand.
How do you get a seat?
No way, they got to know you.
Well, who's the guy? If he's from around here, maybe we know him.
I don't want to bother you guys. You're nice enough to let me sit in your game.
No problem. Couple of guys got hung up. We had room.
I think Larry's still gonna make it. Yeah. So who's the guy?
We know a lot of people. Ask around, maybe we can help you find him.
I got a picture of him with me. I don't know if he looks like that now.
He probably had a nose job. You know Hollywood, everybody gets a nose job.
[All laughing]
You know something? Larry could help us in this.
He could run it in that computer, or something.
Larry? Yeah, you're in his chair.
When he gets here, we'll show it to him.
(Pierson) I've already seen it, Rockford.
This guy's gonna make a movie. Wants to use the bar for a location.
I think I'll just cash in my chips and hit the road.
Leave them.
You're kidding. There's over $200 here.
You're gonna make a movie?
How would you like to make a documentary?
About our county jail.
On what charge?
Film-flamming friends of Detective Lt. Larry Pierson.
That's good for 90 days county time, Rockford.
Sentence suspended if you're on the next flight back to Tinseltown.
You guys are really something.
You want me in this game to keep guys like this away.
I'm an hour late, you give this hustler my chair.
What was that you said, Larry?
It was Valley Street to Airport Drive and then turn right?
This is a hot seat, Larry.
All right, I'm leaving. Just let me get my stuff.
You can tell Lt. Pierson to relax. He's going to get an ulcer.
Don't know what you're talking about, friend.
Yeah? Yeah.
You travel kind of light.
You guys aren't cops? No.
Who are you?
We're with the chamber of commerce.
That's funny. I really like jokes.
I'm trying to get out of town before the cops have me...
swinging a brush hook on the county roads.
So if you'll let me get my stuff together, I'll be on my way.
We want a little talk with you first.
About what?
You've been spreading these around town. We want to know why.
If you have any information about him...
that relates to his background here in New Jersey...
there's a $5,000 reward.
Sounds like you already know where he is.
If you gentlemen have any information, I'll buy.
We want to know why we're giving it. We're cautious about this kind of thing.
Hi, how's it going?
How about it? Tell us why you wanna know, we'll tell you what we know. Straight trade.
You tell me what you know...
I'll give you the $5,000. That's a trade.
Who are you working for? Myself.
I don't think so.
You couldn't come up with the $5,000.
You buy your underwear at a discount house.
Why don't you come to the point?
You don't want the money. You just want to know who I'm working for, right?
As long as you put it that way, yeah.
I'm not telling. You can't be that stupid.
Sure, I can. I've been doing stupid things all day.
Why don't you two guys head on back to the chamber of commerce?
Okay.
It really doesn't matter. I'll tell you what you do, Rockford.
You go back home and tell your client...
what he's doing is very dangerous and very stupid.
If he wants to be smart, he'll stop investigating Mark Chalmers. You got that?
Sounds like a threat. It's not a threat.
It's what you call sound advice, Mr. Rockford.
Good night.
[Ignition sputtering]
M-N-U 8-0.
No.
0-8-9.
M-W-N.
0-8...
(announcer) Arriving passengers from Newark...
please report to TransGlobal's passenger service counter.
Mr. Jameson, please. This is Jim Rockford.
Yes, sir. I'm back.
It's hard to say. I really don't know.
Something happened back there...
a little weird. But I'll fill you in.
[Door opens]
Put him in the car.
What do you mean? I'm busting with good information. You should listen to it.
Put him in the car.
Come on, pal. Have a heart.
I'm sorry about that, pal, just a reflex action.
Move him out.
[Engine starting]
[Tires screeching]
Go!
[Tires screeching]
[Siren wailing]
Federal officers! Everybody out of the car with your hands up.
Come on, he's got to be kidding.
Get out of the car with your hands up.
Put it away. We have attorneys.
I'm Jim Rockford.
I know who you are. These men took you from your trailer...
at approximately 3:15 this afternoon, apparently against your will.
If you prefer charges and will agree to testify against them...
I'll charge them with kidnapping.
That's ridiculous. Tell him, Jim.
You book them. I'll testify.
I'll inform you of your rights. You are under arrest.
If you do not have an attorney, one will be provided for you.
I have one.
He makes more in one month than a creep like you makes in a lifetime.
I should advice you, sir, anything you say may be used against you.
[Machine whirring]
Want some more coffee?
No, thanks. I'm fine.
Now, if you'll just sign the complaint, we'll be on our way.
Pal, do you want to do me a favor? Sure, name it.
Would you tell me what's going on?
Simple. You sign the complaint. The federal prosecutor will prosecute.
And these guys will become permanent members of the federal penitentiary.
That's not what I mean, and you know it.
You look a little tired. Why don't you just sign this...
and go on back to your trailer, and get yourself a little shuteye.
Don't you want to know who I'm working for?
Seems to be everybody's favorite question.
That's a local matter, and I'm not interested.
I'm only interested in putting Torrance Beck in jail.
Now, if you'd just sign this.
Not until I know what's going on.
Nothing's going on.
Then how come everywhere I go I keep getting pounded on?
I'm sure you're gonna find that's all over with now...
if you'd just sign the complaint.
I've changed my mind.
If I'm not under arrest, I'd like to get out of here.
You don't want to mess with me, Rockford.
You get difficult and I'm going to jerk you up tight.
I'm a taxpayer. Big deal.
Who is Mark Chalmers?
Mark Chalmers? I don't know who you're talking about.
Like hell you don't.
Rockford, I work for the Federal Justice Department.
I am attached to the Organized Crime Strike Force.
Torrance Beck is a member of organized crime.
I was staked out on him...
and I followed Harry to your trailer, and I saw him pick you up.
I then followed the car back to Beck's house...
and called for assistance. Lucky break. We got them all on kidnapping.
That's great. You mean, you were standing outside my trailer...
while those two hoods turned my place into a room full of junk?
That was the only way. I had to wait to see where it went, and then hope for the best.
I want to get out of here. Tell them to move.
When you sign the complaint, Rockford.
Look, hotshot, I've been having a terrible day.
I got two loose teeth that have been killing me.
I got this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach...
that I'm the only guy in the game that doesn't know what trump is.
I have been followed by criminals and threatened by cops...
and now I come up on you.
You got all the answers and you stand there like some big, leafy elm.
Fine. You want to play it that way, that's okay with me.
But I'm not signing that complaint till I get clued in.
I have told you all that I could tell you.
Then let me outta here, or I'm going to slap a lawsuit on you.
I'll subpoena you for the trial.
You haven't lived till you've tried to serve me with a subpoena.
That's one of my career specialties: Ducking process servers.
Okay, Mr. Rockford, you can go. But if you'd like a little advice...
from a representative of your federal government...
go out and buy yourself an extra toothbrush...
and then pack it in your wallet.
You try to arrest me on some trumped-up charge...
and I'm going to testify against my federal government.
And Torrance Beck is going to get away scot-free and charge you with false arrest.
It's been swell.
[Banging on door]
Come in.
Hi.
What are you doing? Just what it looks like.
I was getting ready to rap you on the head with an ashtray.
I like the way you rearranged the furniture.
Looks nice.
That's just what I need right now, Rocky.
A bunch of smart remarks about what this place looks like.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
What did happen, anyway?
I got slapped around in here.
I'm still waiting for somebody to tell me why.
You mean, you don't know why? That don't make sense.
I know. I'm thinking of quitting this case I'm on.
Now that does make sense.
If you want my opinion...
you should quit the whole lousy racket.
I'm thinking about that, too.
As long as you're quitting...
it don't make no difference that you stood up a fellow named...
Warren Jameson.
Warner Jameson?
Yeah, that's the one. He called me.
Got my number out of the phone book, I guess.
Did you know that there's only three Rockfords in the phone book?
There's you, there's me.
There's that guy from Detroit that got beat up...
'cause they thought he was you.
That little guy with the broken glasses?
What did Jameson say?
He said that he was on his way up to his country home.
And he was up there then...
and he was waiting for you, but you didn't show, and where was you?
Good, let him cool his heels for a while.
I didn't like him much on the phone, either.
He did leave me a number...
but as long as you're not interested anymore, I guess you won't need it.
Jim, when will you ever learn?
All these fellows want is for you to take the thumping for them.
Look at this place, look at it!
Looks like the backroom of Montgomery Ward's.
You ain't listening to me.
Sure I am, Rocky.
I want to speak to Warren Jameson, please.
It's Jim Rockford.
I thought you'd be at the country house four hours ago.
I got hung up.
I waited for you as long as I could.
I've got to go back East for a day on business.
I'm in town now, and I'll be here an hour before I leave for the airport.
I'll expect you.
I'll meet you at Trattoria's Steakhouse. It's right near the airport.
You'll meet me here. I still don't want to be seen with you.
I got news for you. I don't really care what you want anymore.
I only care what I want.
I'll be at Trattoria's Steakhouse. I'll be there in 20 minutes.
That's telling him, boy.
Rock, would you do me a favor? Would you straighten up this place for me?
Sure, I'll be glad to.
You mean, it's not going to cost me anything?
Look, I'm still your father.
Don't worry, I'll do it all up nice. You'll see.
You're all right, Rocky.
Are you coming with us, Rockford?
Yeah.
Every time I look in my rearview mirror, there's a new gray Chevy following me.
You can take me off the case, but who'll take those other guys off me?
I got picked up again. Kidnapped.
Now that's the second time in two days.
Don't you come down here to bleed on me.
I was trying to protect you.